


"Don't."

by Bikerwolf7980



Series: Supernatural one shots. [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, But mostly angst, F/M, and depressing so GET READy, maybe some fluff, this might be bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 03:53:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17134436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bikerwolf7980/pseuds/Bikerwolf7980
Summary: This one is a long one. Basically, Confession + Dean cheats.





	"Don't."

"You wish, Winchester." You rolled your eyes, shoving the feeling deep within your heart down into your feet, locking it in there. The eldest Winchester smirk never left his face as you raced in the front seat. Sam shook his head with a knowing grin. Letting you win this time. 

"Fine," Sam muttered, opening the car door and stepping in. You sat with a triumph smile plastered onto your face. Until, Dean sat down in the car, taking his spot next to yours. Have regretting your decision you fumbled with your fingers. A bit of the confidence slowly leaving as quickly as it entered. 

"You okay, sweetheart?" A smile still dancing lightly across his lips he held an unreadable expression in his eyes. The nickname made you laugh awkwardly and look away mustering the best, "Yeah, 'M fine." You could at that moment. He nodded, not really knowing whether to believe you or not, backing up the car and driving off. After the most uncomfortable heat that stuck in your cheeks were gone you rested softly against the seat, smiling to yourself as you closed your eyes. 

"We're here." It only seemed like mere moments since you just closed your eyes, fluttering them again to see Sam shaking you lightly. Giving him a polite smile you moved your head side to side, hoping to ease the stiffness. You stepped outside and closed the door. At last one day of nothing going bump in the night. Since it was a rare occasion everyone seemed torn at what to do. And by everyone, that meant you. Sam decided on doing light reading, from lore to any one of his 'nerdy books' as Dean called it. Dean, of course, wanted to go to the bar which of course meant he'd find another bimbo. Just the thought alone made you want to gag. 

You and the Winchesters have always been Best friends. In fact, you couldn't remember a day you weren't with them. A hunt in New Jersey -which turned out to be creepy mannequins- led you to meet the world-known hunters. It was an honor since you've already heard so much about them just that year alone. Considering all they've done. It was so mind-blowing hearing about how strong they were to have fought against so many monsters, considering it was just the two of them. Let alone meeting them. As soon as you met them you were blown away by their looks. Thinking about how Dean's eyes glowed, next to his brother's. Not that Sam didn't have the best hazel eyes. You never could get over that day, marking it as one of the most memorable. 

Ever since then you all have had such great memories, from Dean going crazy at even the slightest view of food after a long hunt, to sitting down at night, watching as the three of you saw the glares fly into the sky, as they sprinkled into a thousand blinding lights around you. That was the first time you saw Sam and Dean smile so wide. It was real. Like all of the hunting backgrounds didn't matter. At that moment, when Dean was glancing at the smile lighting up his brother's face, he never thought of the toll the job had on any of you. He smiled at you and beamed brightly, his eyes lit up as the reflection of the many colors held the twinkle in his eyes. Telling him it was going to be okay.

You were surprised they weren't first bothered by your awkwardness. You had -of course- good moments where you'd be able to take down anyone and everyone, or be able to get the most information out of someone just with words alone. But none of that mattered when you stood near Dean. It's like all of your mental instructions on how to function burned as bright as your cheeks. Sam later caught on to this and teased you ever since. You would always roll your eyes and deny it. It wasn't true. You didn't like a Winchester. Dean, on the other hand, would be clueless which some part of you thanked him for. At least, he won't ever find out, right? That is if there was anything to find out. Which there wasn't. This isn't some young fanfiction or tv drama that teens would look up to and fangirl over. Dean was your best friend. That's it. 

Dean shrugged as Sam declined and continued reading, The older man grinned and looked in your direction. Already hating what he was gonna ask, you rolled your eyes.

"How 'bout you, Y/n?" He winked, "You in?" You looked away, crossing your arms to hide the evident blush growing on your face. You hated when he did that, "Sure."

Dean smiled, finally getting his wish as he walked towards the car, keys twirling around his fingers. His hands touched your shoulder, feeling a weird heat and almost a shock, once you realized what happened he left. You cursed yourself, feeling the heat on your cheeks again as you turned and joined him. No doubt being his wing-girl again. 

\-----------------  
"Ew." You huffed seeing a girl go up to Dean, her torso leaned forward just enough to get the reaction she wanted. He looked down and smirked. She was another bimbo, one who you could tell was checking him out throughout the night. Creepy. 

But you stayed cold to anyone who walked up to you, waving your hand towards them and ordering another drink. You looked back at him, drink halfway gone now and tipped towards your mouth. You took a bigger gulp as you saw her hand lightly dance on his arm. You couldn't hear her and you were bad at reading lips but you knew she was saying something -anything- to get him alone, to herself. Why did you come tonight? The liquid fire wasn't helping any. Hell, you could leave now and he wouldn't even notice. 

Your attention was barely caught by another drink practically slamming down in front of you. Taking it roughly in your hands you gulped it down. WIping your mouth as you looked back. Now the bitch's lips were on his. Holding her by the waist as she threw her hands in his hair. That's it. You took one last shot. Hoping it would be enough for what you were planning. If it didn't you could always blame it on that though. You stood up, your head pounding signaling you that that wasn't a smart move. But you weren't in the mood to care. You were done. You walked, slightly wobbling toward him. The bitch still practically hooked onto his every breath. If you didn't stop it know she would be another body tangled in the sheets with him. You weren't going to let that happen. 

Once you were behind him you pulled his shirt, the force surprised both of them. The bitch fixed her lipstick and gave you a stink eye. If you weren't in public, she'd be on the floor in a second. Dean turned to look at you, his eyes half-lidded he gave you a worried glance, one hidden by anger. 

"Let's go." You say, gritted through your teeth. He turned back to the bitch, "Nice meetin' you, Lila." He winked at her before turning to follow close behind you. 

She corrected, almost screaming over the loud noise, "It's Lydia." He waved off and continued until they were outside.

"What the fuck was that?"

"Home. Now." You let the question go right over your head, as he huffed, "Whatever." And got into the front seat. He kept muttering things throughout the whole night but you could barely stay away.

When you did get home let's just say Sam let out a secret he shouldn't have. Which led you to be even more pissed and embarrassed. Although you couldn't stay mad at the moose since he kept apologizing and offered many times to make it up to you. He even gave you the puppy eyes.

"Look, Y/n." Dean coughed, awkwardly looking down, "I can't."

"What do you mean?" 

"I can't be with you. I'm sorry." Your heart broke, cracking in all the wrong places before he even continued. You stayed silent, not trusting your voice, "It's not that-" He stopped, trailing off. `

"What?" Your voice was rough. Dean stayed quiet.

"Tell me. What part of me isn't good enough for you?" You didn't care if your voice was raised or even if the tears rolled down your cheeks. He looked up, a sympathetic look, "No, It's not-"

"What makes me worse than any of the random bimbos you pick out of the bar? Is it my face? Personality? C'mon, Dean just tell me." You were hysterical, "What makes me not them? From all the bitches you seem to be so fucking attracted to-"

"It's because you mean something!" He shouted, interrupting you from speaking. You looked up, eyebrows slowly sinking down from being furrowed your gaze softened but hardened once again, "So what if I'm your best frie-."

"You wanna know? Fine, because you mean too much! I can't lose you. I can wake up and know that those 'bimbos' are gone and I don't care! But with you..." He trailed off, taking a breath, "It would kill me to lose you."

"Why didn't you-."

"Because!" He rubbed his hands roughly in his hair before throwing them down. Sighing, his voice dropped to barely above a whisper, "I don't deserve you. I never did." He closed his eyes and let a cold, sad laugh, "It never mattered what I felt. I couldn't have you."

"I love you." The words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop them. He looked up, "Don't."

You should've listened to those words the night he told you. Should've stayed best friends and not have gotten too close. He gave you an out, told you what you needed to hear, and like a stubborn woman you are, you didn't listen. You kept trying to break the cold shell of a man who didn't want to be fixed. Didn't want to admit he needed to be. Instead, you were convinced you could be the one who changed him. That you could be loved as much as you loved him. For him to feel half as much trust as you put in it, blindly. Being so selfish to be loved you didn't even think of the hurt it might've caused, but being so selfless with your feelings, giving too much all at once. Too much to handle. 

If you would've known that all before. You wouldn't be standing here, watching as the man you fell in love with. On just another bimbo. Having your heart fall, and shatter in your chest. Tears begging to escape, just to leave so badly just as you did. You stood. Torn between leaving or to react. A tear slipped past, as you could hear her name, coming out from his mouth. Holding so much more pleasure than you ever received. He gave you an escape. A warning. And you were dumb enough to disregard it. You sniffed, wiping your eyes just as he looked up. Catching your sad expression as he held his breath. The blonde shifted, beggingly, before noticing you standing in the doorway. Your jaw clenched, eyes set on the door you turned. Holding everything in. 

Ignoring the calls for you after you heard something stomp on the ground. You shook your head, heading for your room. Sam looked up and smiled before it fell when he saw your condition. 

"Y/n..." Sam started, voice pleading. 

"No, Sam. I'm done." You hissed. He got up, knowing what you meant. he ran toward you, his brother not far behind him. 

"Y/n." It was Dean's turn, as his eyes looked glossed over. The same green eyes that you first were intoxicated by. His jaw clenched as Sam looked at him. Before you or Dean knew, Sam shoved his brother against the wall. giving him a stare. A warning to back off, before going back to your aid. 

"Please," Sam said, his voice on the edge of breaking. Looking at you with a sad pair of puppy dog eyes, "Don't go."

"I-." Your voice cracked, not standing to look him in the eyes you shoved the ball in your throat, "I'm sorry."

"No." Dean was right by the door, watching as you packed every little thing of yours into a duffel bag. He never wanted it to come to this. 

"I should've listened to you, Dean." You stated, laughing with a sad, broken voice, letting an empty laugh, "Guess I wasn't good enough to change your mind."

The eldest Winchester kept mumbling, broken 'no's'. You got up, staring them both in the eye. You walked towards the door and gave Sam a tight hug. Almost letting everything you've hidden come to surface. 

"I'm sor-"

"Fuck you, Dean." You harshly spat, "If you wanted to lose me. Congrats you won." You said just before you slammed the door shut. 

Everything was silent for a second. Before you heard crashing, things hitting the floor, one after the other you heard it. Not even at minute intervals.   
You let the tears fall when you got into your car and drove away. Away from your best friends. The only two people left to trust. Surely, you would never forget. All the times you three helped each other. Having the man of your dreams in your grasp, even if he slipped away. 

Maybe it wasn't a day free of monsters after all.


End file.
